A look back at all the happenings of 2019
Things rarely go as planned.
Much like the past year, this post has gone though numerous, unplanned changes. From being a simple decade in review to being a +3500 word behemoth, back to a more traditional year in review, I’ve found it difficult to decide how I wanted to recap 2019. It’s been a year of continued monumental and incremental change, almost always for the better. I’ve worked to navigate wedding planning, lengthy commuting, career shifting, honeymooning, and doggie play time.
How can you not love that puppy face!All of these changes and commitments at varying times has left me with the feeling of missing time and wanting to know where it went. Is this what getting older is all about?
The Good
I want to give a special shutout to my trusty Predator Helios 300, and to Kelsey for reminding me that I can actually buy things from time to time. Without purchasing this machine at the end of 2018, I would likely have not gotten the Drexel position, written anything at all for anyone, or created 3D work on the train (finished or not). Best ROI I’ve had on a purchase to date.
Morning Pages
When I re-branded the blog and hoped to add smaller bits of content last year, it didn’t take long for me to see that some of the first waves of content were stress induced. Commuting, processing the shift to a more corporate job, attempting to art on the train (and not doing the best at it), figuring out how to have a balanced approach to life, getting over the Shadowcore experience…there was a lot I was working though. By the start of 2019 I had managed to settle into a groove with the commute and Dreamline. Despite that groove, I still found I was stressed often. I found a way to work though many of these stressors by writing Morning Pages. Morning Pages is a concept I gleaned from a long series of tweets from writer Manday Stadtmiller. The idea behind morning pages is to write first thing in the morning. This writing is all stream of consciousness; random bits, curse words, and literal gibberish is fair game. The idea is to kick off the dust of your brain and get you primed for the day. For Mandy, it helped her deal with relationship issues. For me, it was the restlessness and occasional unhappiness I felt with my commute and career.
The blog has been sparse mostly because of my morning pages, and that is likely a good thing. If my blog housed all of my brain dump, the negativity, personal issues, and kernels of good ideas would have been aired out in the open without any real vetting. I wrote some weird stuff too, including but not limited to:
- A short story of myself on my commute, more or less.
- I like Power Cleans. Then it became depressing.
- A short quip about being tired. Then I slept.
- Notes about the Pros and Cons of Drexel vs a Production Job I did a phone interview for.
- MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way as it is known deep on the internet). This specific page actually had a lot of content as I looked it over.
- Politics.
- Blender!
My brain often needed kicking in the mornings. If you get up at 4:30 AM and don’t need coffee, you are an alien.
I haven’t kept up the habit with my new routine, but while I was at Dreamline this habit was essential. Writing became the main creative outlet for me in the front half of 2019, when I didn’t sleep on the train of course.
My last morning page was recorded at 7/15/19. Hoping to get back to something like it in 2020.
Marriage
Kelsey and I got married on May 4th, 2019. It’s the day the internet knows as ‘May the 4th be With You’ day, and I (and Kelsey) know for damn sure I’ll never forget our Anniversary now. Kelsey isn’t a Star Wars person, but I am. Han and Leia (IGNORE THE SEQUELS) made an appearance. They were promptly eaten by Summer, our dog. The wedding itself was everything we wanted it to be; a big party with dancing and fun and friends. From what I know, everyone had a good time and that’s all I could ask for.
My beautiful wife and I.As for being married? I’m quite enjoying it. It felt a bit different at first but after I got used to the ring on my finger and the idea that legally, our lives are 100% entwined now, I’ve settled into a good spot. Not much has really changed, and what we’re doing works for us.
My family also had a second wedding this year; the older of my sisters (I’m the oldest) married her long time boyfriend, also a Dan. He’s tall and we look nothing alike so it’s only only odd when we’re both in the same room and someone asks for Dan. He’s a good dude and I’m happy he’s part of the family. Her wedding was also quite fun with a few unique twists and one sloppy drunk. In some ways it felt like being at a resort with a time travel feature. Fun secret? If you want to be internet free and able to do whatever the hell you want, check out north central Wisconsin. It’s a time machine back to a mix of the 90’s and 50’s.
The new gig
The last major change for the better this year was my new job.
I covered most of my job change information and thoughts in my Summer Update. Presently I’m wrapping my first quarter as a full-time faculty at Drexel University. I have enjoyed being back! Being full time has a large number of perks and having that mindset (of being a full time faculty) has also meant that I’m more engaged with my co-workers and the University as a whole. It’s been far more fulfilling and rewarding than I had anticipated.
The Bad
Where has my time gone!
It very much feels like only yesterday I had all the time in the world to do everything I wanted to. Work, gym, art, games, TV with Kelsey…all I had to do was maybe sleep a little less from time to time and I was set. Sure, my own work often took a back seat to freelance contracts, but that was fine! I could squeeze it in here and there most mornings.
Today? Ho Boy.
Even after my commute was cut in half (or more), I’ve been finding it difficult to re-claim time for my personal work projects. I like making assets and selling them. I love playing around in Unreal Engine. This work feeds into my educational content for Drexel. It’s important for all of my career plans. I need to find the time to consistently do it.
So why can’t I? Life I guess maybe?
I plan to really address this issue over the break. I did a short audit of my time a few weeks ago and found that I spend my time about how I thought I did during a typical work day (typical work days include gym visits). The short summary? Compared to a few years ago, I spend an hour a day with my dog playing ball or taking her to the park (yes, she legitimately needs a ton of activity). I also seem to be shortening my work hours a bit as well as expanding my evening leisure time. I think some of this is warranted (spending time with my wife) and some of it is needed (I know I’ve had a bit of burnout lately), but it can’t become a trend as 2020 starts. Since I’m off for the rest of the year and Indiana moves at a snail’s pace compared to city life, I’m going to take some of my vacation time to dig into making a new schedule (complete with updated workouts) for the start of the new year.
Personal Art Output
This really goes hand in hand with my previous time management issues, but it’s also a bit deeper.
Blade Runner Window Diorama. This is as far as it’s gotten.In January, I started a new project inspired by Blade Runner 2049 and a meditative ASMR type of sound I found on YouTube. I burnt out on it a few months into the project. I couldn’t sustain it while I was juggling writing, wedding planning, and needing sleep.
I didn’t really write on this blog much due to the aforementioned Morning Pages as well as being incredibly busy.
The only 3D art project I did start to finish were my Blender 2.8 crash courses. It ended with The Platform, which itself is a springboard to my Weight Room Assets, but it’s been slow going since that was wrapped.
The Platform, my current showcase for my Blender 2.8 transition. All my my new weight room pack assets are also being made in Blender.My Asset Pack plans have all slowed to a crawl. Art takes a while and I have not been consistent with anything that isn’t related to Drexel-which is good because teaching is my job. It’s also BAD because my ability to teach effectively relies on my own work as well.
I need to make more art, I need to make better art, and I need to make that art into experiences inside of my favorite tools (namely, Unreal). This has not happened on a consistent basis.
My Future Self and Me…2020 Goals
Going into 2020, I have a few defined goals but no solid plan on how to approach and complete them.
Current iteration of the Weight Room Pack
Current iteration of the Weight Room Test Scene
Platform and Plates
Most assets have materials that allow users to specify how dirty, chalky, or rusted they are
Blueprint Asset for easy placement
It also allows for color and dirtiness level changes.
- Continue to perform as a Professor at Drexel
- Finish the Weight Room Kit
- Start a new, larger scale environment (that hopefully nets a usable kit of some kind)
- Pick up my writing here more
- Keep my GameTextures articles coming
- Game a bit more
- Work out a bit smarter
- What’s Next
That’s a huge list, and I think the most important point that comes from that list is this: Time Management will be the central theme of 2020. I have the time, now I need to be smart with it.
The last point is especially important. Since starting at Drexel, I’ve spoken to a few professors about ‘what’s next’ as it were. Unless my reviews are trash or Westphal gets it’s funding slashed, I hope to remain at Drexel for a while. Teaching is great, but I want to remain active in the industry too, creating games and experiences in some sort of capacity. I’m still working out how that’s going to look and thankfully, I don’t need to be in a rush. Maybe I’ll be content to work summer contracts or take small freelance roles throughout the year.
Weight Room Pack’s Material Setup
Clean, simple material
It’s dirtied up 
This is the network making it happen
Perhaps I’ll be looking to do something bigger.