I will be speaking mostly about my professional experience in 2018.
If you read my Thanksgiving post, then this will sound familiar: Thank you 2018, but fuck off.
2018 has been a very Jekyll and Hyde year for me. It started out slow on the work front, and when it picked up…it was for a client that didn’t work out. The experience I had with that client ended up wrecking the rest of my plans for the year and pushed me to where I am now, doing 3D work at DreamLine Shower. DreamLine has its issues for sure, but I’m salaried, have good benefits, am paid every two weeks, and I get to work with some pretty cool and talented people. The commute sucks and while the laptop has helped significantly, it’s not a silver bullet to cure what is a long morning and evening. There are days when I wake up and feel ready to pull the plug on this full time thing and go back to bed. Then I get up and go to work.
I’ve often said while freelancing that I am my business and my business is me. I may not be actively freelancing as of this writing, but I absolutely believe that is the case for me, for you, and for your mother’s uncle. In 2018, if you aren’t treating your professional work like a business, salaried or not, you’re not doing it right.
I’m going to write this recap much like I did my most recent Post Mortem. I’ll write three or so points of what went well, three of what didn’t go well, and three points of what I’m doing to improve and change for 2019. This will not follow my quarterly report structure as I’m no longer actively freelancing and any income I’ve made from assets or writing is pretty small this year thanks to, well. You know. 2018.
What I did well in 2018
I never gave up.
I tend to think of myself as a tenacious individual. I will bang my head against a wall to make impossible situations work, and in some senses that’s what being a real-time artist in Philadelphia is like right now. With a very small, independent game industry and local architecture firms a little behind the interactive curve, anyone who works in real time technology is either an indie dev hoping to make some cash on the side with freelance programming work (Unity Developers), or Unreal Engine specialists (me) who scrap for remote work.
It took 3 years for this to finally catch up to me, and it’s mostly because I did business with the wrong people. But more on that later.
I fought and clawed to find work earlier in the year, and after that went south, I kept on fighting to make sure I was paid for my work. It took far more effort and stress than I want to exert again and, if I’m honest, the last bit of my payment happened by accident. But I got paid in the end, and I was shown that my writing, my fighting, and my tenacity can still create a deadly combo. That is something I can build on.
Rewiring my body and mind.
As 2018 as gone on, my body and mind have been required to re-wire themselves. I have always been a bit of an evening owl. Left to my own clock, I’d be awake at 9 AM, working out at 4 PM, and in bed around 1AM. My old freelance schedule often was up at 7AM, working out at 3 PM or so, and in bed by midnight (though 1PM wasn’t unheard of). With the end of this run of my freelance career, my schedule has shifted significantly and I’m kind of better for it. My days are long and exhausting, but the shift does leave me feeling ready to take on the day.
- I’m up at 4:30 AM to take out the dog and get some water and coffee in me.
- Gym a little after 5 AM
- Workout for an hour
- Get through the rest of the morning and the commute and walk into work a little after 9 AM.
- Wrap up work at 6 PM and head home
- In bed by 9:30/10 PM
It’s a long day and I do want parts of this modified in the future regardless of what I’m doing, but the early wake up call and the morning workouts are likely here to stay in some fashion. The longer I’ve done them the more I can feel my body adapting to lifting heavy things first thing in the morning. When my career shifts again, a version of this schedule will remain, although I’d prefer a somewhat later wake up time.
Mentally, my mind has become more still and focused. It took a lot of time to come to a place where I’m not running through negative thoughts or cursing my career moves, but now that I’m here I feel like I can move forward. Meditation and some therapy have helped, but the biggest value I’ve gotten thus far has been from my first visit to a Float Tank.
Writing about Floating will be for another time, but I’ve found that I’m often (but not always) able to access the floating feeling in my limbs and in my mind when I lay down for bed. This meditative state has let me get incredibly restful sleep the past few weeks and clears my mind of negativity and most other running thoughts. It’s not perfect, but being able to call that up as well as my general meditation has really helped with my mental health as the year comes to a close.
I arted on the train.
My commutes the second half of the year were pretty rough. Between running around to catch a train 10 minutes earlier than I needed to and losing all productive time I had during the day, I was miserable. I love games, but I love creating more.
Purchasing my laptop and using it to create on my rides has been a godsend. I’m ‘generally’ creatively fulfilled and able to work without interruption (no one can bug me while I art now) and my rides are something I actively look forward to. Where do you think I’m writing this?
Is it perfect? No. If you read my Trench Post Mortem you can see some of the issues I’m presented with as I work. But I’m happy to make the most of my time these days, and I really enjoy my laptop. So work away I shall.
What I did Poorly in 2018
Ran my freelance business like a dumbass..1, 2 AND 3
I stopped freelancing and teaching in the summer of this year. I chose to do so because I went into business with with someone who ran their business in an incredibly shitty way (due to pressures on them and lack of experience). I’ll repost this experience in the future, although when I can’t say.
It wouldn’t have happened however, if I didn’t make short sighted plans. When I got back from Bluepoint, I lost sight and grasp of what made me successful as a freelancer-being cautious about the work I picked up and grinding to make ends meet. That sounds rough, but freelance can be a grind and I was grinding from 2013-2017. I needed to get back to that mindset for 2018, but I couldn’t. At least not until I ran aground.
With the lack of a hungry, grinding mindset melding with the traditional financial worries one has (I have a huge tax bill and other bills!) I looked for work of any kind and any set of dollar signs I could. Turns out it’s something I shouldn’t have done.
Other than getting into business with a client who I shouldn’t have, I didn’t prioritize the asset stores that are becoming ever more popular. Sketchfab’s store is nice and easy to use, ArtStation lets you sell basically anything, and Unreal and Unity have huge user bases. I got some assets up (and just launched my Trench Kit on ArtStation and Sketchfab) but they were never focuses for me. I honestly think that was a failing of mine. With intelligent planning and focus, I could have done much better on the marketplaces than I have.
For those interested, Epic’s Marketplace has been the best to me thus far sale wise.
Let’s see, what else is there.
GDC had a poor return on investment. If any. I didn’t know how to pitch myself because I had just finished working on Shadow, yet wasn’t looking for on-site work due to the wedding I have coming up. Plus, you know, I had just been out of state. That led to confusion when talking with others on both their part and my part. That’s a bad look.
I burned through cash from April to June while looking for work. It was mostly on my credit card but it’s always time to pay the piper and I ended up needing to do that in addition to my holiday shopping recently. It wasn’t TOO bad but I do always prefer to save if I can.
All of this, in some sort of sense, led me to Dreamline.
Looking forward to 2019
Cost Cutting: The Move to ‘mostly’ Open Software
Part of what I want 2019 to be is the year I make some moves to keep my future costs down. I’ve always been interested in learning a new modeling package like Modo, but when you rely on something to put food on the table, it’s difficult to justify taking time away from using the tool you know to learn a new one. You will gain that skill, but you also might not eat for the month or two you spend learning it.
I don’t have that worry with DreamLine right now.
I’ve already started to make this change, but in 2019 it will come full circle. I have chosen to end my Maya LT subscription and to pick up Blender. With 2.8 planned for a production ready release early next year and with 2.79b being in great shape, it’s time I make the jump and learn something new.
This change was honestly prompted by my desire to save $260+ a year.
In the same vein, I’m NOT going to get an Adobe subscription to update my Photoshop. I’ve been using an old (and legal!) CS 6 version of Photoshop at home. For my line of work, it gets the job done. Yes, Adobe has added a LOT of useful features since CS 6…but for the work I do, $10/mo is a bit much for an image editor.
Enter Krita.
Krita is a free (donations accepted) image editing and digital painting software. If I need to make a quick texture, I can do it in Krita. Post production? Easy as pie. Touch ups? Doable too! Krita has all the tools I need to handle the type of work I do. It’s not as good as Photoshop and if I was doing serious design work I’d pay for the Adobe Programs, but for a 3D artist who’s made the move to Substance, Krita will more than suffice.
These moves should set me up for longer term sustainability moving forward. I’m looking to save $399.88 a year (plus taxes) with these moves, and I will be looking to make more in the future (do I need to pay for my domain and hosting when I can get it through ArtStation?) DreamLine won’t be forever and my personal life will dictate when/if I return to freelance or some other form of 3D self employment, and finding ways to cut costs without a dip in quality will be important when that time comes. I’m in a position where I can think about this now and have the time to adjust to the moves I’m making. Plus, I’m legitimately excited to learn some new tricks.
My planned software arsenal in 2019 will look like the following:
- Blender
- Zbrush
- Krita
- Substance Designer
- Substance Painter
- Unreal/Unity for game projects
- Marmoset for Art Showcases
Small Art Projects, Small Game Prototypes
Now that I’ve spent time working on the train, I have a better grasp of how I can continue to art while I commute. Small projects and studies are the way to go here. It’ll make asset kits hard to create unless it’s a focus, and I think small dioramas (smaller than I’ve done) and studies are the best way for me to grow my skills right now. I can still sell them if I choose.
So if I have small drips of store content for the next year, that’s ok.
I have broken up the year into 3 main projects:
- Cyberpunk Diorama that is currently in early pre-production. Jan-Apr
- Studies and props. May-Aug
- “Bleeding Me” diorama, somewhat inspired but not based on Metallica’s song of the same name. Sep-Dec.
The schedule may change, but the idea won’t. I have 4 months slated for each set of projects and the projects themselves are small. Studies are freeform, so I don’t have pressure to pick anything. I can do what appeals to me at the time.
It’ll be a lot considering I’ll be learning Blender, but it can’t be hard to make a window in a new program (plus I can always use the Educational Maya if I’m not going to sell anything).
Outside of art, I have a few game prototypes kicking around in my head. If I feel like I want to start pushing those, I’ll need to find the time. I’m not sure the train will work for that (I need internet for help), but if it’s important to me, history shows I’ll find a way.
Thanks for taking the time to read and bear with me this year. I hope you enjoy the New Year and I’ll see you in 2019.
Daniel Rose